How to get rid of persecution mania. How to get rid of an ex How to get rid of a person who is stalking

Reader question:

Is it possible to get rid of the persecution of a former lover? The Lord does not deliver. As a punishment? But then I'll die. And how to quit smoking? I have enough for one day, and then I feel so bad from the consciousness of my powerlessness, worthlessness and isolation from God.

Archpriest Andrey Efanov answers:

Hello! From your question, it is not entirely clear what exactly the question is. If he stalks and threatens you Be sure to tell your friends and family about this. If there is one of your native men or good acquaintances who can talk to that person and tell him harshly and firmly that he is behind, you should definitely do it. If it does not help or there is no such thing, then tell your him that if he threatens you, you will contact the police. And do so. Because if we are talking about real persecution, then this is punishable.

If we are talking about the fact that he insists on continuing a relationship that implies relationships that are unacceptable for a Christian before marriage, and you cannot decisively stop them, then the conversation is completely different. First of all, you need to sincerely repent of what happened. And try to return to the past with your thoughts, but, relying on God and leading a church life, go forward. Work, develop in your profession, go in for health, sports - this will give you confidence. And don't look back. We can talk about such a psychological problem as addiction. Perhaps you should work with her with an experienced psychologist.

But most importantly, remember that the Lord knows you and is ready to help you. The sacraments of the Church, all this grace is for you, do not refuse it, draw and acquire new meanings of life. You definitely need to start praying regularly and leading a church life. A person draws strength to cope with what happens in life.

As for smoking, it is better to decide once and for all and go towards this goal. Yes, most likely it will not work the first time, but the main thing is not to give up trying. It may be useful to talk with those who were able to quit and consult a doctor. Maybe, first, smoke two-thirds of what you smoked a day, then half, then a quarter ... Find, for sure, there are tables somewhere on how to gradually reduce the smoking rate to bring it to zero. Then, there must be something that replaces cigarettes: pills, lozenges, probably some kind of diet and sports. You need to read websites on this topic, talk to people, a doctor, enlist someone's support, celebrate your achievements and share them. And do not forget to ask God for help - what is impossible for a person is possible for God.

Interview with Archpriest Pavel Velikanov - – in it he talks about such important things as the fear of loneliness and the fear of God.

Am I the worst? Where is the line between humility and self-blame. Conversation with .

God bless you!

An archive of all questions can be found. If you have not found the question you are interested in, you can always ask it

Make it clear that you are not interested in this person and that you cannot have any relationship. In addition, in a confident and firm voice, tell him not to call, not to follow you. If you have a young man, let him talk to him, perhaps seeing a strong man, he will get scared and leave you alone.

Avoid all contact with the stalker

Change your phone number and email, tell everyone you know not to tell anyone about you. Refuse to use social networks, or limit access to them. If you are renting an apartment, change your place of residence. Change the route to work, go to a different store, use other establishments. Try to knock him off the trail so that he loses you. It is advisable to do this quickly and discreetly so that he does not have time to react and hunt you down again.

Try not to contact him. Do not answer calls, throw away gifts, envelopes and parcels that he sends. If you see it on the street, cross to the other side or come back. Do not give in to provocations, do not answer and do not enter into a discussion. Feeling a response from you, he can intensify his efforts.

Fix what is happening and collect evidence. Put them not at home, but in a bank cell. In the same place, leave all the information that you know about him. When there is enough evidence against the stalker, contact the police so that they act on him. Tell friends and family about the box so that they can use it if you suddenly disappear.

Protect yourself and loved ones

Install security, strong doors and locks, bars on the windows in the house. When choosing an apartment, give preference to the middle floors. As a last resort, spend some time with friends the stalker doesn't know about.

Wear comfortable shoes and clothing so that you can escape if necessary. Stay away from the pursuer, avoid dark alleys, go to crowded places. Ask men to meet you after work. Carry your phone with you at all times and fill it with emergency numbers.

Think about how to act in a critical situation. Imagine different scenarios for the development of events, and come up with a plan for each. Prepare all the necessary things, collect documents in one place. Find where you can hide in case of a threat to life, leave money and food there. Tell about it only to the closest people you trust.

Learn self-defense, carry self-defense equipment with you, such as pepper spray. Get a large dog to guard you on walks and the house in your absence. Practice running to be able to escape from the pursuer.

Some psycho-emotional disorders lead to the fact that a person loses touch with the real world. An imaginary distortion of reality provokes the emergence of various manias and phobias that completely change people's lives, plunging them into a world of fear and endless stress. The most common type of obsessive-compulsive disorder in psychiatry is persecution mania.

Persecution mania is one of the most common mental disorders.

The meaning of the concept

In another way, doctors call this disease delusions of persecution. Manic behavior is based on the so-called crooked logic and manifests itself in the fact that a person begins to perceive the surrounding reality in a distorted form, which is why he ceases to lead a normal life. As a result of a psycho-emotional disorder (insanity), he has manic ideas that completely control his consciousness. Moreover, any attempts to prove to the patient that what is happening is completely invented by him and exists only in his imagination, are completely ineffectual. The pathology manifests itself as follows:

• a person replaces reality with fictitious facts;
• there is a violation of adaptation to normal life: the patient cannot continue his usual life, do work, communicate with other people;
• a panic state begins, which is a symptom of a serious mental disorder, and not a manifestation of a person’s fantasy.

For many years, the persecution syndrome has been comprehensively studied by physicians from around the world. For example, the Russian physiologist Ivan Pavlov believed that the main cause of the disease lies in the disruption of the brain, and if the disease has made itself felt, then it can no longer be cured - a person will have to live with this diagnosis all his life. Acute attacks of the disease alternate with a state of remission, when the patient briefly comes to his senses and can lead a normal life.

According to data released by American psychiatrists, 15% of the world's population is subject to manic thoughts. In the event that a person subject to this dangerous condition does not take any action and does not begin to be treated, then after a while he may develop a real persecution mania. According to WHO (World Health Organization) experts, more than 40 million people live with this diagnosis in the world. The disease is more often recorded in Western Europe and the United States of America.

Development mechanism

This disease is one of the most severe in psychiatry. It was first recorded in the middle of the 19th century in France. According to doctors who attribute persecution mania to real paranoia, the disease develops in people of age.

In this morbid state, a real paranoia seizes a person. Any action, even the simplest, can cause fear and suspicion in the patient. It seems to him that the food offered to him by relatives may be poisoned, so he refuses to eat. He stops leaving the house, because his pursuers are waiting for him on the street, and the attackers are waiting for an opportunity to rob and kill him. Very often it seems to the patient that he is being followed, and he seeks to get rid of surveillance. Any events, even the most insignificant, can be perceived by the patient as dangerous, harmful to his life. The person becomes extremely suspicious and agitated, suspicious of the people around him, including family members. As a result of the disease, the psyche suffers greatly, which cannot withstand constant stress, anxiety and fear.

People obsessed with obsessions write angry letters and complaints to various official authorities in order to punish and bring to justice all sorts of violators.

In this state, a person becomes extremely distrustful and suspicious, may fall into a state of aggression, be subject to frequent bouts of irritability and anxiety, and completely lose the ability to realistically assess what is happening.

Sometimes the disease develops in a completely different way. A person suffering from an obsessive disorder outwardly behaves completely normal, and others cannot even suspect that something is wrong with him. In this case, paranoia sharpens the patient from the inside, but he manages to reconcile his fears with the surrounding reality.

Paranoia is a complication of persecution mania

Causes

In most cases, paranoid thoughts are subject to people who do not know how to be critical of themselves and believe that everyone is to blame for their life failures, but not themselves. In addition, this disease often affects the fair sex. This is due to the fact that the nervous system of women is more excitable and vulnerable than that of men. Strong experiences can lead to the emergence of obsessive thoughts, and they will cause persecution mania.

Psychiatrists still cannot say exactly what factors lead to the development of the disease. Some believe that the main reason is brain dysfunction. Others are of the opinion that the disease of the central nervous system at the cellular level is to blame.

Despite the endless debate, experts still identify several main factors that affect the onset of the disease. There are a number of causes of persecution mania.

1. genetic predisposition. If parents had serious mental disorders, then they can be transmitted to children and cause this disease.
2. Prolonged stress and constant anxiety. Stressful situations can cause paranoid thoughts, which eventually turn into obsessions. A person suffering from persistent anxiety is in a state of constant tension, any life situation seems dangerous to him and causes fear.
3. The causes of persecution mania lie in frequent psychoses. During a nervous breakdown, a strong tension of the whole organism occurs, adequacy is lost - the victim is often unable to remember what he did and said. After such an emotional shock, the body recovers for a long time, and a person who has experienced a breakdown is very worried. Obsessed with his negative feelings, he can easily go into a state of obsessive psychosis.
4. Violence experienced at any age can be a cause that will affect the emergence and development of persecution mania.
5. Senile dementia, which often affects older people, also underlies the emergence of obsessions and thoughts.
6. Violation of the dosage of certain drugs can cause hallucinations, and they give rise to delusions of persecution.
7. Brain malfunctions and head injuries can provoke mental disorders and disrupt the thought process, due to which the patient ceases to adequately perceive reality and paranoid thoughts appear.

The mania in question can be an independent disease, but more often it is a manifestation of schizophrenia. It can also occur as a result of other reasons, among which alcohol dependence and poisoning with harmful toxic substances are of particular danger to human health. Mania also develops due to the irreversible destruction of brain activity that occurs in the course of various diseases: progressive sclerosis and Alzheimer's disease.

It also happens that the cause of obsessive-compulsive disorders is the progression of various chronic diseases. In order to get rid of the disease and reduce its manifestation, it will be necessary to undergo appropriate treatment that will help eliminate the chronic cause.

The danger lies in the fact that many people treat patients with persecution mania condescendingly, not taking the disease seriously and not considering that it poses a health hazard. However, this disease can completely destroy a person's life.

Symptoms

A mental disorder manifests itself in the fact that a sick person develops confidence that he is being persecuted (by a certain person or group of persons) in order to cause harm. Since mania develops gradually, over time, the patient may have a new source of danger. Both acquaintances and strangers fall under suspicion, even relatives can be included in this “black list”. A person suffering from persecution mania thinks that a conspiracy is brewing against him, in which everyone around him takes part. In addition, the patient can describe in detail the details of how he is being persecuted, which assassination attempts have already been committed, and which ones are planned.

The symptoms of persecution mania help to determine that something is wrong with the person, and he suffers from a disorder of the nervous system. These include:

• relentless obsessive thoughts about persecution and threat to life;
• progressive suspicion and suspiciousness;
• endless digging and chewing on the same problem;
• groundless and painful jealousy;
• inappropriate behavior;
• aggressiveness and hatred towards others.

All these oddities in behavior are very conspicuous. Pathology is accompanied by a violation of mental activity, asociality. A person is afraid to communicate with people, he sees an enemy in everyone and suspects a desire to harm him. Common symptoms of persecution mania are insomnia and suicidal tendencies.

Aggressiveness and suspicion of the patient are striking

Treatment Methods

An unstable mental state can harm not only the patient himself, but also those around him. A person who has a persecution mania is required to be treated in a hospital under the supervision of a psychiatrist.

Many doctors are of the opinion that it is impossible to cure this disease forever. A universal medicine that would help restore a shattered psyche, remove fear and suspiciousness, does not exist today. Please note that the treatment of persecution mania with medications is carried out only after examination and consultation with a specialist.

1. Patients are prescribed psychotropic drugs that help relieve anxiety, anxiety, fear, normalize sleep and do not suppress the psyche. Antipsychotics help overcome delirium, antidepressants will improve mood and stabilize the condition. Among the latest generation of medicines, one can note Fluanxol, Triftazin, Tizertsin and Etaperazin.
2. Doctors also resort to the use of electroconvulsive therapy, i.e., electric current is used to treat the disease. This method is used only if others have not given any result, and only with the consent of the patient's relatives, since after such therapy a person may lose his memory.
3. If mania is a consequence of schizophrenia, then in this case insulin therapy can be prescribed, according to some experts, which does not allow the disease to progress. The patient is specially injected into an artificial coma, and then returned to consciousness with an injection of glucose. Since this method of treatment is very dangerous for the health of the patient, it is used extremely rarely.
4. In the treatment of persecution mania, psychological methods are also widely used, since they help a person to better adapt after returning to normal life. During individual consultations, the psychotherapist helps the patient remove fear and distrust, suggests how to interact with people so that it does not cause stress.

After a person suffering from paranoid thoughts is discharged home, he may need the help of a social worker who should carry out his patronage. During this period, much depends on relatives and friends. Without their understanding, support and friendly environment in the house, the period of remission can end very quickly.

Rules of conduct with the patient

1. It is necessary to develop a clear position and understand that your relative is not to blame for being sick, he does not even realize it. Such patients are no different from any other people who have problems with the heart, hearing or vision - the disease is not their fault, so there is no need to get annoyed about this. It is also necessary to understand that how the relationship with the patient develops, and the conditions under which the process of treatment and recovery will take place depend on your attitude.
2. It is necessary to always be ready for distrust and hostility of the patient, and for this it is important to maintain self-control, not to raise your voice, to be friendly.
3. It is important to understand that this disease is incurable, therefore it is wrong to live in the expectation that the situation will change all the time and suffer from the lack of change. Although it is not easy, you need to accept the situation with the disease as it is, and then you will definitely be able to help your loved one.

The disease is incurable, so you should not expect changes for the better

Outcome

Persecution mania is a serious psychological disorder. Sometimes, tormented by obsessive ideas and thoughts, a person can maintain a normal lifestyle, having achieved significant success in both the personal and professional spheres.

If this painful condition develops into psychosis, and then into real mania, the person changes beyond recognition, becoming aggressive, nervous, suspicious and suspicious. In this state, he can become dangerous to those around him.

People with persecution mania need medical treatment and the obligatory help of a doctor. Although it is impossible to completely cure the disease, achieving stabilization of the patient's condition is a feasible task. During remission, a person will be able to return to normal life, will do what he is used to, and enjoy it.

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Persecution mania is a mental dysfunction that can also be referred to as delusions of persecution. Psychiatrists refer to this disorder as one of the fundamental signs of mental insanity. Under mania, psychiatry understands a violation of the activity of the psyche caused by psychomotor agitation. Often she may be accompanied by paranoia or delusional states. Psychology considers any mania as a pathological insanity on a separate phenomenon or a specific subject.

Persecution mania, what is it? In this state, the individual is constantly haunted by obsessive thoughts about the object of attraction. An individual suffering from persecution mania is convinced of the presence of a threat, he is sure that someone is chasing him or following him. The danger of the described condition lies in the rapid deterioration of the body due to the lack of rest and peace due to persistent thoughts. In addition, in a particularly severe course of the described disorder, people can be a danger to the environment and to themselves. Therefore, the question: “how to get rid of persecution mania” is quite relevant to this day.

Causes of persecution mania

The ailment in question is a rather complex psychological condition, which has not been fully studied to this day. However, modern scientists were still able to identify a number of factors that provoke the emergence of this mental disorder. These include: excessive external, position (complex) of the victim, learned helplessness, defensive position of the individual.

People with an excessively high external locus of control are characterized by a greater susceptibility to the formation of the described pathology than people with a predominant internal locus of control. Individuals who believe that everything in their life is controlled by external forces (for example, fate, circumstances, other people) have an external locus of control, respectively, for subjects who consider themselves responsible for success and failure in life, an internal locus of control.

A victim complex develops in people when they are constantly offended and destroyed for a long time. Such a complex gradually develops into stable behavior and becomes a means of avoiding independent decisions. The greatest fear of such people is the fear of doing wrong, making the wrong decision. People with this complex tend to blame other subjects for their own misfortunes, thereby removing the blame from themselves.

Learned helplessness usually accompanies the victim complex, although it is expressed in a slightly different way. People with this type of behavior always feel their own helplessness, impotence. They have the worldview of the victim, therefore, they consider only external factors as a source of personal problems. In addition, such individuals feel that they are unable to change anything or stop what is happening.

A person who takes a defensive position is always ready for self-defense at the slightest threat to his own person. Such individuals may perceive as a personal insult even the most harmless remark in their direction. They constantly feel that they are being unfairly persecuted. This forces people with these behaviors to take a firm defensive stance.

Many researchers suggest that the emergence of persecution mania is due to a certain constitution of the central nervous system. Also of no small importance is the parental upbringing of the baby, the psychological trauma suffered by the child at an early age. These factors in a certain period, coupled with a stressful state, create fertile ground for the occurrence of the violation in question. However, this assumption of scientists has not yet been fully confirmed.

In psychiatry, the hypothesis that mania is one of the signs of brain dysfunction has become widespread. I. Pavlov was the first to argue this point of view, arguing that the pathological focus of excitation, localized in the brain and causing a violation of conditioned reflex activity, is the anatomical and physiological cause of the disease in question.

People with drug abuse, alcohol intake, treatment with certain drugs, Alzheimer's disease, atherosclerosis may experience short-term attacks of persecution.

Symptoms of persecution mania

Each human subject perceives reality through the prism of his own individuality. Due to various ailments of the psyche, some individuals may lose an adequate perception of reality. Violations of mental processes can cause the emergence of various phobias and manias, so, for example, persecution mania often go hand in hand.

In medicine, it is customary to call the described ailment the term "nonsense of persecution." Delusion is a dysfunction of mental activity, due to which erroneous ideas arise that completely take over the consciousness of the individual. Such violations are not subject to adjustment from the outside. In other words, it is impossible for a sick person to explain the inadequacy of his perception of reality. The ideas of people suffering from delusions of persecution are based on false messages, which in medicine are called "crooked logic".

Persecution mania can be an independent symptom or a manifestation of another pathology.

The state of delusions of persecution is characterized by a number of specific differences:

Adjustment disorder (the patient cannot function normally and live in society);

Inability to correct from the outside;

Is a violation, not a product of human fantasy;

There is an inventing of various facts about reality.

What is the name of persecution mania, in a word? In essence, the described ailment is one that completely captures human consciousness. Under the influence of a delusional state, a person may refuse to do habitual actions, for example, refuse food, believing that it is poisoned. Sick people may be afraid to cross the road, thinking that they want to run over. It seems to people suffering from persecution mania that danger lies in wait for them at every turn, that bandits are just waiting for a chance to harm them or even kill them. They cannot be dissuaded from their beliefs. Therefore, doctors, answering the question: “how to behave with a patient with persecution mania,” advise, if the slightest signs appear that make it possible to suspect that a loved one has schizophrenia persecution mania, immediately take such a person to a psychiatrist.

In the process of development of the described pathology, the delusional state takes on various forms. Patients may fear a particular aspect of life. Some suffering from persecution mania can clearly identify the date of the beginning of the persecution, the results of sabotage, which indicates a high level of systematization of delirium.

The delusional state develops gradually, as the “source” of the threat develops, it can change. At first, the patient may only be afraid of his spouse, considering him the main villain, then prejudice may appear against neighbors or other people from his environment. In the sick imagination of a person in a state of delirium, more and more people become participants in a conspiracy against him. Over time, thinking becomes very detailed, patients describe imaginary attempts with detailed accuracy. The descriptions themselves are destructured, they can pay equal attention to minor points and important facts.

In the future, changes in the personality of a person are observed. Sick people become tense, aggressive, wary. They do things that were previously unusual for them, reluctantly answer questions about the reasons and purpose of such behavior.

How to behave with a patient with persecution mania? First of all, don't try to convince him. It must be understood that the patient is unable to realize the true state of things. In such a situation, the only right decision is to consult a psychiatrist.

Treatment for persecution mania

To answer the question: “how to get rid of persecution mania?”, You first need to make an accurate diagnosis.

You can diagnose persecution mania after a thorough study of the clinical picture of the disease and the patient's history, talking with the patient's relatives to describe the manifestations as accurately as possible, identifying the presence of harmful addictions (especially alcohol addiction) and diseases of the cerebral vessels, excluding or confirming the presence of other pathologies of the psyche, conducting electroencephalography, computed tomography of the brain, X-ray studies.

How to treat persecution mania?

Treatment of the described pathology is usually carried out in a hospital. It includes drug therapy: tranquilizers, sedatives, psychotropic drugs, - in a particularly severe course - electroshock therapy. All family members participate in family therapy.

For a favorable outcome, the systematic use of medications is important, otherwise the disease may have relapses.

In addition, it must be borne in mind that most often the pathology under consideration is provoked by certain factors that must be eliminated before starting therapy.

In the case of a particularly severe course, if there is a threat of harm to others or to oneself, the patient is referred for treatment to a specialized institution. Often the disease takes a relapsing course.

With successful drug therapy, the patient is prescribed rehabilitation procedures.

Many are interested in how to treat persecution mania with the help of folk remedies. Unfortunately, traditional medicine is powerless in the stage of relapse. During periods of remission and for prophylactic purposes, you can take, after agreeing with your doctor, various soothing decoctions, infusions and teas.

Doctor of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMed"

And tomorrow, the same thing again - he comes to the child and sorts things out in the kitchen, leaves an armful of roses at the door in the morning, and in the evening knocks out the same door with a valiant shoulder, tearfully begs the boss to influence you and tracks down your whereabouts by mobile signal. Worse, if there is no way to leave, then every delay at work blows up the apartment with a hysterical scene of jealousy with insults and threats.
How to get rid of it?

Types of pursuers

You will be surprised, but psychologists distinguish between an adequate persecutor and an inadequate one. We will return to the pathological type later, but for now let's see what keeps a mentally normal man near a woman who has long and distinctly said: "Goodbye forever!".

Adequate

A man is acutely experiencing competition and it is extremely important for him a high assessment of his merits by a woman. And the abandoned man, of course, understands that somewhere and in some way he did not satisfy the woman and another one will soon come in his place - abruptly. It's hard for a man's ego to bear. Well, a woman cannot prefer loneliness or, even worse, anyone else to him - such a handsome man in every respect. And if a woman from a small mind also points out shortcomings when parting, a man may be inflamed with a desire to prove that he is still the most macho macho and enviable groom. And all the artillery of the candy-bouquet period is used, up to exquisite sex, so that this bitch regrets her words and asks to return. That would be a balm for the wounds of wounded pride. And often this happens - a woman, naively stunned by her value and the power of love, which she is able to evoke, returns her boyfriend to his place. Until next time.

result of provocation. We women are not sinless either. A year has passed since the breakup, and we all savor the details of the last conversation and his request to return with our girlfriends. And if the thought is material, then the spoken word is even more so - and attracts the former, does not let go. He may be glad to leave without looking back, but then what will his ex show off if the thought that a man cannot forget her, like a fire, warms her on cold winter evenings. And there will always be firewood for heating - the struggle for the redistribution of spoons, the investigation of the crimes of the former mother-in-law, and even the appeal for help in driving a nail out of old friendship. And the confrontation with the former can last forever.

Understood the error. Considering that a woman is not going anywhere, a man often sits on his head. And when he is overthrown from there, at first he is offended, and then he realizes that this woman is the best thing that could happen to him in this life. And, like Adam overeating on apples, he tries to return the lost paradise. But in reality, such an alignment happens extremely rarely, and even more rarely Adam receives forgiveness, because a smart woman understands - let the goat into the garden and everything will be repeated all over again.

inadequate

The degree of adequacy of a person is measured by the number of "No" said by a woman. The maximum is three times. And then - the more, the deeper the pathology. And the harder will be the battle not only for freedom, but also for one's own safety.

Dog in the manger - a woman in love is ready for anything for her beloved, who takes her love for granted, takes advantage of her weaknesses and indifferently looks at problems and experiences. But as soon as the woman decides to switch places and leave the ungrateful, he immediately turns into an ardent lover. He urgently needs to return her love, because he feeds on her and will die without her. Romantic? Yes. On distance. But somehow I don’t want to see myself in the role of a silent and disenfranchised feeder. So a firm "No" and a bicep-playing new fan will do the trick, especially since that subspecies is relatively harmless.

Abandoned child. Abandoned by a busy mother, a little boy will retain an acute desire to snuggle up to a warm female breast and the fear of losing another mother, his wife, until his advanced years. Having met a young girl, cut in the image and likeness of her mother, he immediately rushes with her to the registry office. And then either the woman gets tired of the infantilism of her husband-child, or the adult child gets her jealousy and egocentrism, for and for which she gets a turn from the gate. And again, the little boy is traumatized and passionately wants to return to his mother, or at least be close to her - even on the bedside rug, and it does not matter that there is already a new husband in bed. Do not be afraid of suicide threats - the self-centered type will never do anything wrong to himself. But it's easy to manipulate you. It is very pitiful for such a man, but if you do not want to be his vest all your life, gently but firmly stand your ground. Well, just like with a child. Moreover, he needs you not as a woman, but as an imitation of a mother. Only in this way does he know how to experience the most vivid emotions in his life.

Maniac is not just a type. This is a diagnosis. It even has a name - "narcissistic perversion." He needs a victim to ruin his life. This is his happiness and the meaning of life. He can give roses and whip them. He can hit - so that you feel how it hurt him. And the most extreme case is sung in a romantic song from Soviet times:
Natasha, Natasha, if a miracle happened
And if you suddenly became ugly
And maybe then you might notice
That I am with you alone in the whole world.

And if for this a woman needs to be beaten until she loses her kidneys, poured over with acid, or further along the Criminal Code, he will not stop. After all, relationships are built on the principle “So don’t get you to anyone!”. And if at the beginning of a relationship a woman considered hysterical jealousy a sign of great love, then at the stage of parting, her eyes open.

What to do and where to run?

The most interesting thing is that you need to influence not only the pursuer, but also yourself. Your victive behavior is probably largely to blame - the aggressor needs a victim and he finds it in you. It is in you, and not in your tough and prudent girlfriend. Change and the persecution will lose its meaning for him.

What to do about the pursuer?

The last conversation should be kept in a calm, even friendly tone. Talk about your relationship only in the past tense, thank him for all the good things that happened between you, but emphasize that everything has passed and there can be no return. Whatever you do, don't ask for forgiveness, don't show weakness. He should not hear a hint of doubt - do not give him a reason or hope. Assure yourself first of all and it will be easier to assure him that life consists of periods and your joint period has already passed. Another one starts.

Your ex-man has the right to feel, to experience. And you must respect this right. But you are not to blame for anything. These are his feelings, and you did nothing to hurt him on purpose.

Close this situation and do not relive it over and over again in conversations with girlfriends, sleepless nights or in search of a reason to reproach him for something again. If you are not indifferent to this topic, then another question is who is pursuing whom.

Depending on his financial situation - obsessively ask to lend you a large amount of money or vice versa lend him if you know you won't. Maybe an unpaid debt will keep him from showing up. Consider yourself redeemed.

It will not help - agree to marry him. And turn into a mercantile person - you will need a ring with the most incredible diamond, a haute couture dress, a banquet with the participation of all second cousins ​​\u200b\u200bin the most fashionable restaurant in the city, and foreign. Honeymoon on the Cote d'Azur after signing a marriage contract with the division of his property in your favor. This is followed by the rejection of housekeeping, and at the same time from marital debt. If he still agrees - really get married, why scatter shots?

But do not decide on such an option - then sacrifice your unearthly beauty and charisma, temporarily, of course. An inadequate pursuer, as befits a maniac, has problems with mental flexibility. You are a symbol for him. Change, become simpler, get off the pedestal - knock the ground out from under the feet of his fantasies and illusions.

When meeting again it is necessary to spend communication time and spent emotions to minimize . To stop all the long overdone conversations, referring to the lack of time. Do not allow yourself to be drawn into emotional showdowns - their time has passed.

At the slightest violation of your personal space, freedom of movement, damage to property - involve witnesses, the police. Usually the persecutors, who lead a quite respectable external life, are afraid of publicity. Threaten human rights intervention. But only once. Threats should not be empty - after the first time, write an official paper. Two papers is already a systematic offense. The accumulated amount of evidence will help you in the trial, which can easily come to a point. Sometimes staying alive after such a relationship is already a great success.

The persecutor, who can only torment the defenseless, often hangs out in front of relatives or friends of a strong physique and resolute mood. Therefore, enlist their support.

Take a self defense course Carry a permitted weapon with you, a stun gun. Remember that in the hands of a determined woman, not only a frying pan can become a weapon, but also a ballpoint pen stuck in her palm, a high heel stepping on her foot and a manicure left in her eyes. Remember that your life is worth more than the observance of external propriety.

True love, even after a long time, gives rise to joy, pushes people to beautiful, noble deeds. It makes people happy - both at once and exponentially. But this will never happen in your life as long as the painful past tenaciously and cowardly holds you with its trembling little hands. Get rid of it. Make room for the future.