How to reconcile friends: simple ways, useful tips. How to make peace with a girl How to make peace

The older we get, the harder it is for us to admit when we are wrong. Therefore, making peace with a loved one in the event of a quarrel becomes incredibly difficult. There were no problems with this as a child. Perhaps this is because children are more sincere in expressing their feelings and emotions. So how can adults, independent people improve relationships after disagreements with their loved ones?

The most important rule of reconciliation is forgiveness! Remember that the well-known saying “a bad peace is better than a good war” cannot become the basis for improving relations!

How to make peace with relatives?

Relatives (mom, dad, brother or sister) are the ones who get the most. It is in relations with relatives that a person does not restrain himself either in words or in actions. The cause of a quarrel can be anything.

Depending on the temperament of the parties, a dispute over household trifles can lead to huge scandal. Afterwards they may not speak for weeks. Such quarrels are especially difficult for people who are characterized by close ties with relatives. For example, mother and daughter are used to talking to each other on the phone several times a day. After a disagreement, each yearns for reconciliation. But who should take the first step?

Of course, a lot depends on what caused the quarrel. Let's consider the option of reconciliation when the disagreement occurred on a domestic basis. In this case, the first step can be taken by the one who is younger. A few tips to help you:

1. Forgive and be prepared to ask for forgiveness yourself. This is important! Even if you are sure that you are right. Remember that sincere repentance is the right step towards peace. And there is always something to ask for forgiveness for after a scandal: for the inability to stop an argument in time; for the offensive words.
2. Sweets, flowers and other pleasant little things will help prepare the ground for a conciliatory conversation.
3. When asking for forgiveness, you should not focus on what you consider yourself to be guilty of and what you do not.
4. To confirm your sincere desire to make peace, you can talk about the emotions you experienced during the disagreement.
5. Be prepared that your loved one, due to their experiences, may again remind you of those offensive words that you could allow yourself during a quarrel. After this, it’s worth asking for forgiveness for this again!
6. The end will be a tender embrace, in which the hearts of each other will once again feel not only physical, but also emotional closeness.

IMPORTANT! Don’t be shy about showing your emotions (tears) in front of your loved ones. They have seen you in different situations.

How to improve relations with a girlfriend (boyfriend) after a quarrel?

Remember how, as a child, we clasped our little fingers together and said the rhyme: “Peace and peace, we can’t quarrel anymore,” we believed that this would happen, and a few days later we quarreled again and made up again. In adulthood, when we have all become hostages of our own egos, finding the path to reconciliation is much more difficult. Misunderstandings between people who are friends can arise for a number of reasons:

• Issues of study, career, life path. Discussions on such topics arise between friends very often, especially when the parties have different views on this. Every person has the right to their opinion on all issues. Know how to hear your interlocutor!
• Personal life of a friend. This is also very “fertile ground” for quarrels. Respect the choice of your girlfriend, friend. You can interfere in relationships only in very rare cases, having in your hands indisputable evidence that you are right. Otherwise, you may lose the friendship forever. It’s not for nothing that they say: “the night cuckoo will snack on the day.”
• Jealousy of new acquaintances. The stupidest reason for quarrels! Understand and accept for granted that even if you kindergarten together, nothing prevents your friend (friend) from making new acquaintances at the institute or at work. You will be united by what has kept you together for years, and they will be united by what they have in common now. Finding out who is more important is stupid. A true friend will always find time for you and help you out in a difficult situation.

If you did not use the above recommendations and still quarreled, then the reconciliation algorithm will not be much different from reconciliation with relatives:

1. Forgiveness.
2. A pleasant surprise.
3. Sincere words that will help you express your emotions.
4. The ability to listen and understand your opponent.
5. Friendly hugs.

IMPORTANT! Remember, so as not to have to reconcile, you should not lead an ordinary dispute to a scandal.

How to regain the affection of a loved one?

Unfortunately, people in love have many reasons for disputes and quarrels: different everyday habits; jealousy; misunderstanding of each other's interests. Almost all couples face this. But, alas, not everyone is able to find a path to reconciliation after a quarrel and preserve their feelings. Love is neither blood connection nor friendship! But there is something common in the search for conflict resolution:

1. If you truly love, then it will not be difficult to forgive your loved one. The main thing is to remember that moral or physical violence has neither explanation nor forgiveness!
2. A bouquet of flowers or sweets for your loved one will be a “softening” gift. It's unlikely to be found loving woman who will not appreciate such a gesture. A home-cooked romantic dinner for your loved one will become an “invitation” to the negotiating table.
3. Talk to your significant other about the conflict situation without blaming.
4. Explain your position on the controversial issue.
5. Try to find a compromise solution that suits both. If the issue in dispute is unprincipled for you, you can give in to your loved one. It will be appreciated!
6. Don't promise to never do that again! It is hardly possible to predict this, but in the event of a repeated conflict, you may be reminded of words that you are “not the owner of.”
7. Gentle touches and hugs sometimes speak louder than words!

Conflict situations arise even among couples whose relationships have been tested by time. The ability to show loyalty, to compromise, to once give up one’s interests in favor of a loved one - all this has saved more than one love “boat”. Unfortunately, many people do not take relationships or marriage very seriously. They leave their loved ones, not wanting to fight for their happiness, believing that there are many more such relationships ahead. Their own ego prevents them from understanding that real, sincere feelings are not that common.

There is no such person who would not periodically quarrel with those closest to him. In most cases, the causes of conflicts do not deserve even a fraction of the attention that people pay to them, but in a verbal skirmish you can say a lot of unnecessary things to each other, and then regret your behavior and look for a way to improve relations again. In this article we will talk about how to make peace with a dear or loved one, depending on the severity of the quarrel.

What to do first

First you need to cool down and let go of your emotions. When you have a cool head, you think better, and the likelihood of making new mistakes is significantly reduced. The further scenario of actions is something like this:

• Assess the situation: are your interests really affected as much as you thought? If not, you can think about reconciliation;
• Think about what comes after reconciliation. Are you ready to let go of the situation forever, or has it left an unpleasant aftertaste that will be remembered from time to time? This also applies to the second participant - think about his thoughts and feelings on this matter;
• If you decide to make peace, speak and act sincerely. Any pretense and false promises will only further aggravate the tension in the relationship, even if not immediately.

Is it worth putting up with?

If you truly value your relationship with your beloved boyfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend or friend, and you see a quarrel as not a sufficient reason to break this connection, you need to look for a way to make peace. There is no single recipe here and cannot be. Much depends on the situation itself, so let’s look at the main examples in more detail.

There is no reason

The quarrel occurred because of someone’s bad mood; both parties to the conflict behaved unrestrainedly and said a lot of hurtful words to each other. In this situation, there is no point in looking for someone to blame - both sides tried their best. If the cause of the conflict was your behavior, then it’s up to you to think about how to make peace. If a friend, relative, or loved one snaps at you for something unrelated, you can allow yourself to pause. As soon as you make it clear that it is not at all necessary to take you into account, you will open a portal to the land of endless nit-picking without substance. However, if this case was an isolated one, it is really worth giving the person a second chance, and at the same time asking about the reason for his behavior - perhaps he has serious troubles that he is silent about, and that is why he is not able to keep control of his emotions.

The other party's vile behavior

Few of us are pleased when someone we trusted endlessly began to act behind our back. Unjustified trust can be very painful, and the worst thing in this situation is the effect of surprise. Even an emotionally stable person can be caught off guard by gossip, lies, or a double play. If you are faced with real betrayal, then it is hardly worth looking for a way to make peace with this person, but such a situation cannot be unambiguous, because each of us puts our own meaning into this word. In order to clearly determine for yourself whether you want to make peace, try to understand the motivation for the action of the person with whom you quarreled. Perhaps he lied because he predicted your reaction to the truth in advance, and could not do otherwise due to circumstances. In any case, each of you sees what happened from his own perspective, but if this person is still dear to you, and he regrets what happened, you should probably make peace with him. It is likely that you also upset him from time to time.

The reason is you

If after a quarrel you realize your share of responsibility, then all is not lost. An adult does not look for those to blame, but evaluates the situation objectively and does not neglect the opportunity to make peace with those who are dear to him. If you feel that the relationship can be saved and everything depends on your actions, feel free to look for a way out of this situation.

If you offended someone

Have you behaved unrestrainedly or offended other people’s interests, and now you don’t know how to make peace with this person? The first thing you shouldn’t do is beg for forgiveness at any cost, or try to “buy” his favor with gifts and various lucrative offers. If you are connected by love, kinship or friendship, do not act as if you are united by commodity-money relations. It is very important that the person sincerely forgives you and your communication continues.

Best course of action:

• Frank conversation. Voice what you feel and don't make excuses for your own behavior;
• Try to understand from the conversation whether the interlocutor is interested in continuing the relationship with you. If he is determined to break this connection, the best solution will be your consent. It is likely that after a while he will cool down and want to make peace himself, but right now there is no point in continuing this conversation;
• Sincerely admit that you were wrong. Everyone without exception makes mistakes, but only a few know how to take responsibility for their own actions.

If they offended you

Even the person you love shouldn't be allowed to treat you with disrespect, but not everyone has patience. It happens that a girl is so afraid of losing a guy that she is ready to forgive him everything in the world, and she is the first to make attempts to make peace, forgetting about the offense. It would seem that her actions speak of the strength of feelings and generosity, and characterize her as an unforgiving person, but this is only an appearance. In this situation, we are no longer talking about love, but about love dependence and attitude towards it young man or a man as an idol. Of course, he can appreciate the purity of the intentions of a girl or woman, but in most cases it happens completely differently - the “forgiven” one rejoices in permissiveness and loses all respect for his beloved or girlfriend. Thus, women, without knowing it themselves, create domestic tyrants, who are then hated for this reason. Surprise usually comes later. Many women realize the consequences of their excessive softness only when they see that ex-husband behaves completely differently with his new wife and treats her with respect. The same can be said about men who are ready to forgive the women they love for any actions.

How to proceed:

• Take a pause. Any information needs to be comprehended, and not only by you, but also by your loved one;
• If you are ready to take the first step to make peace, do not hide your love or friendly interest, but make it clear that you cannot be treated this way - any patience has its limits;
• Do not reproach a person for his mistake at every opportunity - you have forgiven him, which means you have left this incident in the past.

Immediately after a quarrel, you don’t always need to run to make peace. The intensity of passions has not yet cooled down, feelings are overflowing. In some cases, it is necessary to take a certain pause so that the offended party does not say even more wrong words under the influence of emotions.

Psychologists say that such a break depends on the following factors:

• Quarrel "misunderstanding". In this case, you cannot wait a second, because the obvious absurdity can develop into a more serious problem. It is necessary to understand the critical situation right on the spot before it is presented in a different light by the envious couple of lovers.
• Conflict of interests. If there is discomfort in the relationship, you need to wait at least a day in order to clearly understand the mutual claims against each other. Having built a plan for the upcoming conversation in your mind, you can safely put it into practice a day after the discord has arisen.
• . In this case, passions can flare up with such force that communication between the two partners must be temporarily stopped. Psychologists say that a couple of days are enough for the two halves who quarreled over this issue to become one again.
• Conflict after partner's betrayal. In such a situation, everything is very individual, because each person reacts differently to such betrayal. Someone can contact a cheater in a week, and some people cut him out of their lives forever.
• Quarrel over the cruelty of the chosen one. Experts never tire of repeating the truism that there is no point in tolerating and forgiving something like this. The one who hit once rarely does not repeat his “feat” a second time after forgiving his unacceptable behavior towards his partner.

Ways to reconcile two parties after a quarrel

When deciding to smooth out the conflict and reunite with your soulmate, it is necessary to take into account the fact that women and men react differently to attempts to get closer to them after a quarrel.

1. Wisdom. Frankly playing on the feelings of your beloved man will ultimately not lead to anything good. Repeated accusations will only worsen the situation, which may end in the separation of the couple. It is necessary to openly tell your chosen one about your claims in such a way as not to infringe on his manhood.
2. Element of seduction. It won’t hurt any woman who is in a quarrel with him to interest her partner in an intimate way. In some couples, conflict is artificially provoked in order to diversify their relationship. Sex therapists say that at the height of another scandal, a woman can reduce it to nothing if she uses her charms.
3. Pausing. Representatives of the fair sex often, in a fit of righteous anger, throw out a large amount of accumulated negativity on their partner. Psychologists recommend that after another quarrel with your chosen one, take a walk in the park or visit a store. After the vocalized emotional respite, you can return to the conversation, no longer in a raised voice.
4. Innocent flirting. Not a single man who values ​​his woman will tolerate attacks on her by competitors. Even after the most stormy showdown, he will watch his woman’s life with increased attention. If you take advantage of this factor and make your loved one jealous, he will quickly try to restore his position on the love front.
5. Change of image. First of all, this must be done for yourself, so that the effect of the manipulations performed on your appearance reaches the maximum effect. A woman who falls in love with her reflection in the mirror will be able to make peace with her partner in a fairly short period of time due to the interest aroused in herself.
6. Respect for your partner's hobbies. Some conflicts in couples occur due to different concepts about shared leisure time. When figuring out how to make peace after a quarrel, you need to read the relevant literature about the hobby of your beloved man. With a frank conversation with him, you can show off your knowledge in this area, which will definitely help the couple reunite.

• Maximum beat. A woman, as you know, loves with her ears. This factor has double strength when it comes to a lady in love with an offender. A guilty boyfriend can earn forgiveness through a correct explanation of his action, which painfully wounded his soulmate.
• Help with household issues. If a couple lives together, then you can surprise your beloved woman spring cleaning home or buying things needed for the family. Every lady will appreciate such efforts, which will indicate the partner’s attention to their life together.
• . Some women often save on themselves when they want to purchase some item that interests them. When there is a quarrel, the time has come for the man to fork out money in order to, along with confessions of his guilt, present his beloved with the thing she dreamed of.
• Use of Internet resources. No lady will remain indifferent if, after a conflict, her man begins to write her tender SMSs. It won’t hurt for him to also show his activity on social networks, which his beloved visits.
• Help from friends to your loved one. If mutual friends have a positive attitude towards the quarreling couple, then their support will be simply priceless. It is necessary to honestly tell them about the problem (omitting intimate details) so that they can help reconcile the two sides.
• Romantics. Every woman likes to be looked after beautifully. A bouquet of your favorite flowers, dinner in a cafe or restaurant and a short trip through a beautiful area are the main components of the program for a man who wants to make peace with his beloved. Boat trips have worked well, where an offended woman can not only listen to an apology from her man, but also relax internally to the gentle sound of the waves.
• Using billboards. Lately it has become fashion trend express your feelings in a similar way. If an offended lady sees a huge billboard with her image and a declaration of love from a guilty gentleman, then the ice in her heart will definitely melt.
• Recording on the asphalt. If you don’t have the financial ability to decorate a billboard for your significant other, you can resort to standard ones, but no less effective methods. If the quarrel did not occur because of a partner’s betrayal, then any woman will smile when she sees the marks on the asphalt from her lover.
• Eliminating irritants. In this case, we will talk about banal jealousy, which often destroys even the strongest relationships. If a woman dear to her heart is infuriated by her lover’s friendship with a former classmate or colleague, then a man should think about his priorities in this matter. Or try to introduce and make friends with each other.
• Journey. If it is possible to carry out this event, you must take advantage of the opportunity. A change of scenery quite often helps a couple in a conflict phase to find mutual understanding. However, a man must organize everything in such a way that a trip to exotic places becomes a pleasant and unexpected surprise for the lady of his heart.

How to avoid quarrels between lovers

1. Refusal of pressure on the individual. Some subjects consider their point of view to be the only correct version for studying their life experiences. However, when a love affair arises, such a formulation sometimes works exclusively according to the relationship scheme in the form of “tyrant - victim”. As a result, a conflict arises, which then goes beyond simple misunderstanding. If you want to maintain a relationship, you need to learn to respect each other.
2. Refusal of stereotypes. There is an opinion that to create relationships, people who are exclusively different in temperament connect their hearts (plus goes to minus). This assumption is not true, so in order to preserve the relationship, you should somewhat reduce your ambitions.
3. “Getting in” with your partner. In rare cases, a choleric person will find common interests with a phlegmatic person. Emotionally active people will most enjoy skydiving or exploring mountain peaks. Calmer natures will be horrified by such prospects offered to them, which can lead to a quarrel in the couple. However, although love prefers equals, for the sake of serious feelings it is worth taking into account the preferences of your soulmate.
4. Controlling jealousy. In this case, psychologists like to quote W. Shakespeare, who called her “a monster with green eyes.” Insecure people and outright owners quite often conflict with their significant other because of what they perceive as betrayal on her part. The advice of psychologists in this case says that you need to believe in yourself and your chosen one.
5. Analysis of misunderstandings. It is this situation that can destroy a couple who could not resolve the situation without delay. The factor “someone said it wrong, and someone heard it wrong” is one of the reasons for the emergence of a stone wall between loving hearts. It’s better to make it a rule to stop and have a heart-to-heart talk before a conflict.
6. Control over your words. Very often this is done by jokers or simply ill-mannered individuals. Any criticism of a woman’s appearance is perceived very painfully by her. Not every man calmly listens to a derogatory verdict regarding his worth as a representative of the stronger sex. In order not to think about how to avoid quarrels, you should control your words and thoughts.
7. Rebuffing slander. Some people are haunted by watching other people's happiness. Envious couples can be both the woman's friends and the man's friends. This is especially dangerous for lovers’ relationships when slanderers on both sides join forces. There is only one way out - learn to trust each other.
8. Destruction of old accounts. If partners have already gone through the reconciliation phase more than once, then it is possible that they have not forgotten past grievances. At the slightest similar situation, the conflict can flare up with renewed vigor, which ends in a long-term quarrel between lovers. In this case, there is a wonderful saying: “Whoever remembers the old, look out.” The past must be left in the past, and not dragged along as baggage throughout life.
9. . Frank flirting works very well if a man or woman is looking for a soulmate for a full-fledged relationship. However, already in an established couple, the search for a new partner due to boredom can end in the separation of lovers forever. If there is a reason to look for and choose a new chosen one, then it is better to immediately part with the person who does not suit you.
10. Resolving conflict with family. A problem of this kind will never arise if both partners are orphans and without any immediate relatives. Otherwise, the family may not like the choice of their loved one, so they begin to criticize the person they did not like. The solution is to reduce communication to a minimum, talk more often about the positive qualities of your loved one, and ideally live separately.
11. Prohibition on sharing power. In any couple, someone tries to dominate the relationship. Psychologists say that people who are equal in spirit become friends rather than lovers. Consequently, clarifying the question of who is boss in the house can lead to a quarrel between partners. Here it is important to show flexibility, be able to give in or correctly defend your opinion without getting personal.
12. Refusal of dogmas when raising children. If the spouses already have a child, then it is possible that it is because of him that a conflict will begin between the lovers. Some people want to raise children according to Makarenko’s system, while others like Craig’s recommendations. The main thing among the methods of approach is unity. You need to look for the “golden mean” and reasonably defend your ideas.
13. Compliance with ethical standards. Betrayal of a loved one can be both moral and physical. In both cases, this is a serious reason not only for a quarrel, but also for a complete break in the relationship. If there is no goal to maintain communication, then there is no problem. If a couple wants to be together, then only a loyal attitude, support and love can work wonders in case of disagreements.

After a strong quarrel, when emotions fade into the background, each of us first of all thinks about how to quickly make peace with a friend. Sometimes we ourselves don’t realize what we did wrong. The modern rhythm of life, stress and constant tension lead to the fact that friction arises more and more often even between the closest friends. But if no recipes are needed for a good quarrel, then even to conclude a bad peace you will have to work hard. There are several simple rules How to make peace with a friend in any situation.

How to make peace with your best friend?

This is a special case when it is necessary, first of all, to realize how dear this particular person is. You should not start “negotiations” when not all emotions have subsided. Experts give advice similar to family therapy: you need to understand that both are to blame for the quarrel. Even if at first glance this is not the case. It should be realized that there were mistakes on both sides, and therefore no one should be blamed. This is the best strategy.

Another useful tip on how to make up with your best friend is to do it while spending time together. Let it be something quite active and with a good burst of energy. For example, often friends have common hobbies that will help resolve any conflict and at the same time remember why exactly it is worth returning to good friendly relationships.

How to make peace with friends: large-scale conflict

But it also often happens that one member of the company does not see eye to eye with everyone else, or does something that literally undermines the trust of all friends. In this case it may be possible to make peace challenging task, since group reactions are much more complex than individual ones. In this case, psychologists advise starting small and trying to restore good relationships with those friends who are closest in spirit. There are always such people. But you can use a simpler method: to make peace with friends, a simple and frank heart-to-heart conversation will not hurt. It is important to speak out sincerely, without hiding anything. You should be prepared for an initial cold meeting and negative reactions from friends, numerous questions and unfriendly glances, but if friendship is truly important to you, all this is worth enduring.

How to make peace with a friend at a distance?

Long-distance friendships are every bit as complicated as romantic relationships. And any quarrel becomes a serious threat if there are thousands of kilometers between people. In this case, it is very important to reach reconciliation as soon as possible. Unfortunately, the “out of sight out of sight” factor plays a significant role here, so there’s no point in delaying it. You can start with a simple message. And here the question arises of what to write to a friend in order to make peace and convey your emotions as clearly as possible. Psychologists advise: it should be something very simple, as personal as possible, but the banal “Forgive the fool” will do just fine. The first conciliatory message should be an incentive to at least have a telephone conversation. If, for objective reasons, even this poses a problem, it is better to give preference to writing on paper. Such a move will melt even the most durable ice between friends, especially between girls. If you start making excuses in your messages and “bending” your side, this will only lead to the opposite effect.

How to make peace with a friend after a strong quarrel?

Scandals over an unfriendly tone, unsightly tardiness and the wrong chosen football team are one thing, but conflicts are often much deeper. Unfortunately, this is more common in long-term friendships in which the mutual connection is deep. In these cases, the approach must be special. To make peace with a friend after a strong quarrel, follow a few rules.

Rule one

We need to realize whether there is a need for reconciliation. Sometimes it turns out that a quarrel reveals serious disagreements between people, their dissimilarity and even the failure of their relationships. And therefore, before starting the path to peace, you should understand whether this is really necessary.

Rule two

The dialogue should be conducted in the language of adults. No matter how strange it may sound, many people forget about such a simple rule. Phrases such as: “But you…”, “It’s always like this…”, “You constantly quarrel…”, “And you yourself…” and so on should be excluded. Often, because of such reproaches, the situation further deteriorates and quarrels between friends only get worse.

Rule three

Keep the quarrel private. No matter how it unfolds, no matter how painful it is, you should not try to make peace through third parties. This is obviously a losing option. You can only make peace with a friend “tete-a-tete”.

If you follow these simple rules, there is a chance to gradually regain your former understanding and make peace with your friend forever. However, you should prepare for the fact that this may take many months.

Reconciliation is only the finale of a quarrel, but far from its end. In order not to find yourself in this unpleasant situation again, mutual conclusions should be drawn. You can discuss the situation with a friend after the final reconciliation, work out general rules, if the quarrel was significant, draw certain conclusions. Such a conversation will be the correct final point in the process of neutralizing the conflict.

A popular proverb says: “Darlings scold - they only amuse themselves.” However, quarrels can actually be serious and protracted. It doesn’t matter who you had a fight with - your husband, mother or best friend– taking a step towards reconciliation can be very difficult, and a simple “sorry” is not enough. How to make peace with a loved one? We offer 5 steps, following which you will quickly smooth out the conflict.

How people react to a quarrel

It is known that some people feel comfortable in a tense state. They can talk endlessly about problems and sort things out. Others, on the contrary, avoid conflicts at all costs. Still others want to solve the problem immediately, they need to make sure that everything is in order as soon as possible (even if everything is actually bad). Still others refuse to take control of the situation and end any quarrel in the same way - with silence.

Research shows that men and women respond differently to conflict. Journalists from the American publication Personal Relations analyzed the situation in 62 cultural regions and found that men avoid negative emotions and conflicts more often than women. A word about make-up sex: men love it. Women? Not good. According to a study, men are more agitated after an argument and often use sex to relieve tension. Women, on the contrary, experience a quarrel even during sex, so they feel uncomfortable.

Psychologists identify five steps that will help you make peace with a loved one.

Step 1. Don't rush to talk

Step 1. Wait to talk

It is useless to talk through the problem while the other person is still on edge. Even if you immediately say, “I’m sorry, I was wrong,” and your loved one agrees with this, emotions will continue to boil over and soon the conflict will escalate again. Therefore, you should wait until the passions subside, then calmly say that you want to talk. If the argument was really heated, try to talk in a public place, such as over dinner at a restaurant, rather than at home. A change of scenery will only play into your hands. Psychologists also advise to be careful and try not to have conciliatory conversations in front of children.

Step 2: Give up the idea that you are right

Try not to focus on the details of the argument. From your point of view, you will still be right, even if in fact you are not. Instead, focus on the other person's feelings. He is just as offended as you are, and he also thinks that he is right.

Step 3: Mirror the other person's position

Say out loud that you understand how he feels. This helps focus on his needs. Let's imagine that you went to a party without your husband, and he was offended by you. Say: “I’m really sorry that I went for a walk without you yesterday. I understand that you are offended.” Many people don't want to apologize because they don't want to admit that they did something wrong. A good attempt to make peace would be to say: “I'm sorry for upsetting you. I don't see anything wrong with going to the party without you. True, it would be better if I didn’t do this, because I don’t want you to be upset.” Most importantly, never use the word “but.” The phrase “I'm sorry, but...” casts doubt on the entire initiative.

Step 4. Don't be offended by your partner for his reaction.

If you apologize and he says you really did something wrong, just nod your head. The main goal is to take responsibility for how you made the other person feel.

Step 5: Explain that you care.

And also say that you are ready to change your behavior. Look the offended person in the eyes, hug him or touch his hand. Accept that it will take time for him to “settle down.” Try to be sensitive and attentive. And after a while, make sure that you are doing everything correctly by asking about it directly.

Step six, spare

If the quarrel has become alarming, try to involve a third party who could reconcile you. If you had a fight with your husband, it could be a family friend, if you had a fight with your mother, it could be your father. The main thing is that this is a person who loves both of you equally. He will be able to listen to both sides, see from his height where both are right and where they are wrong, and smooth out the conflict. If the quarrel is very serious, you can consult a psychologist. Most likely, you will only need one appointment, the main thing is not to go there alone, but to go to him together with the one you offended and who offended you.